It started with free eyeglasses.. and then I died for the fourth time

March 24, 2017

 

I was having a pretty boring dream the morning of Friday, March 24, 2017: it was dark outside and I was in a store that looked like a gas station convenience store but was really a place to get your prescription eyeglasses.  Not an optometrist, just a place to get the glasses.  I was in a hurry it seemed, as I was moving through the aisles looking at objects that weren’t really in focus.  The darkness outside contrasted the soft blues, pinks, and light creamy colors inside the store.  

Finally, my name must have been called because I went up to the counter to pick up my glasses, which in my mind were going to cost $74.95 (on sale!) from the youngish guy behind the counter with long stringy blond hair and blue vest.  I said something to him, or as is more common in my dream world, emotion and understanding was transferred instantly without words being exchanged and as a result of this he decided I should just take the glasses free of charge.  I shouldn’t worry about it, he let me know, it was all good.  I was elated.  I couldn’t believe my good fortune finding this strange convenience store eyeglass place and I was going to tell that other woman coming in the door to let that guy know, just talk to him too, cause you never know, maybe she could get free glasses too!  Who doesn’t like free stuff?!

I left the store and found myself in my car out in the dark and then, this is where the dream takes its turn, instead of driving away I was suddenly just some distance from my car walking down a narrow sidewalk with Trevor Noah of The Daily Show.  This version of Trevor Noah was just my mind’s idea of him, I guess.  I recognized him as Trevor but if you could see my mental image of this person you’d likely argue that he looks nothing like the actual Trevor Noah.  That’s dreams for ya!  I was watching this scene from a distance even though it was myself I was watching as we talked for what must have been roughly 10 minutes in the dream, again no audible (actual?) words were exchanged, just sounds and more emotions were passed back and forth.  After which we were both excited enough about what we exchanged to decide that we should get married right then and there (if only it was that easy to find out if you’re compatible with someone!).  This “marriage” was more like an acknowledgment that we were kindred souls I think – not any sort of legally binding contract or declaration of romantic love, but the details are fuzzy (maybe I just feel weird saying I dreamed of marrying a celebrity).

 The focus of the moment was on the scene:  we were on a narrow sidewalk that was angled down hill.  There was a railing on each side of the sidewalk due to the steepness of the slope; it was metal and cylindrical.  Beyond the railing were trees, maybe you’d call them tall shrubs.  They were bare of leaves and grew over the sidewalk at an upward angle.  The thin bare branches were peppered with dark blue fruits, or maybe they were small hard flower buds, I’m not sure.  We pulled handfuls of the blue fruits off the branches the way kids slide grass seeds off of the stalk and we threw them in the air over us to recognize our marriage/connection.

Suddenly I was introducing him to my family (dream family, not my actual parents), again I wasn’t in my body but just observing from a few feet away when all of a sudden I knew something was going wrong in my brain.  In the dream I had started to think about how I’d just married a black man and I wondered how my white family would react to this.  Had I told them before I showed up or had I just done just what was the plot line for the movie Get Out? I wasn’t sure.  That’s when I felt something in my brain and my dream observer self went into my body in an instant and – Oh.  I’m having an aneurysm. A brain aneurysm. Oh no. And my observer left my body and I saw myself collapse and I knew I’d just died from the bleeding.

And I woke up.  It’s 3:32 am.

I died again. This is the fourth time, the last time was ten years ago. Why do I die in dreams? Why did I dream of marrying Trevor Noah? I mean, he is pretty great: smart and funny with dimples, how much does it get? A brain aneurysm?? It wasn’t painful, it just felt like .. wrongness.  I just died.  In my dream I died.  Again.  Should this be scary? Am I scared? But I married Trevor Noah..  He’s pretty cute.  How would we even meet?

These questions kept me up until I had to get ready for work.  I always feel a little off when I die in a dream.  It always feels so significant, like I’m supposed to be getting a message from some other dimension but I don’t quite speak the language.

I’ve been told that do die in your dreams means a big change is coming in your life.  We should think of it like an omen of something letting go so a new thing can begin.  It’s difficult for me to project what type of change this might mean – which makes me wish I’d started this blog in journal form 20+ years ago after I died in a dream for the first time.  That was the first dream I ever remembered in such detail, but I’ll have to tell that story in my next post.

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